Fluff to Buff

Okay, so I have made a decision.  I have 6 months until my 32nd birthday.  In that time, my goal is to lose 45 pounds.  However, I have a physical idea of how I want to look and with the amount of muscle I have and plan on gaining, I'm not as concerned about the number on the scale as I am with overall fat loss. 

I have been around 200 pounds for years and in the last 4 or 5 months have added another 10 pounds to that.  I am the heaviest I've ever been in my life.  It's unhealthy and disgusting and I'm tired of feeling this way about myself.  So...I'm doing something about it.

I have been working out and eating SO much better, but still get slammed with cravings that no amount of avocados or carrot sticks are going to satisfy.  Yesterday was one of those days and I ended up giving in to cravings, justifying it by "But I'm working out every day now.  I'll burn off that bowl of Lucky Charms with whole milk in no time!"  Gina.  Get real.  I have to want this more than that bowl of cereal or Taco Bell or that ridiculous chocolate craving (that I didn't give in to)

I am my happiest when I am physically active.  I love being active...running around throwing a softball makes me giddy.  Seriously.  Ask Bobby who has been throwing with me.  I giggle all the freakin' time!

If I could commit to any workout regimen, I would be doing Crossfit.  I have a lot of friends who are involved with the local Crossfit and I can see a huge difference in them.  Here's their site which will explain what Crossfit is.  I would LOVE it, but I would need to get a job with the paycheck going directly to them.  It's expensive!  So I can't do that NOW but maybe in the future.

I am not discouraged by that.  I have plans on how to incorporate their ideas into workouts I can do here at home.  Plus, I have softball starting up in April, a track right down the road, I have a bike (which needs a new seat and possibly pedals thanks to a dog)...okay scratch the bike...I have a few weights, ropes, blocks, etc.  I'll make it happen!

Also, I'm setting goals for myself by not only doing the Color Run in September but by making plans to participate in the Spartan Sprint next March.  I'm also looking at other obstacle course races like Tough Mudder, Iron Warrior Dash, and Warrior Dash.

Needless to say, I'm pumped!  I tired of looking at things and wishing I could do them.  The only thing stopping me...is me.  And I'm finished standing in the way of my happiness.

Hey batter, batter!

About a year after my parents divorced, we moved to Athens.  I was 9.  To be honest, I don't remember why or how we got involved with softball.  I had never been involved in any other sports, but that's when I started playing city ball.  To say that I loved it would be an understatement.  It was amazing in every way I could imagine something to be amazing.  And I was really good at it.  I finally found something I was really good at.

I made all stars my first year.  I was so proud of myself.  I had never been so proud of myself.  I loved my coaches and having team mates.  I guess I would say that that's the first place and time I felt like I belonged. 

I have other photos of me from those young softball years but this one was on the computer.

I was 11 or 12 when this was taken

I have played every position, but never spent much time in the outfield.  I wanted to be infield with all of the action and I guess that's where the coaches wanted me to be.  I played city ball in Athens until I started high school in Decatur.  I tried out and made the team and was made catcher.  Catcher...that was a lot of pressure, but I loved it.  I was actively involved in every single play when we took the field.  I spent hours and hours separately and in addition to team practices working on my skills.  I would 'catch' the pitch and throw to second base from a kneeling position over and over until I could do it without thinking.  I threw hard and accurately and made lots of outs using that skill.

I absolutely loved softball.  I could not imagine my life without it.  I remember thinking "I will never not play."  But that hasn't been the case.  I played through my sophomore year and then quit school and got my GED.  I had a family.  I played for a couple years after high school for different city teams.  Slow pitch is just...different, but I adjusted and still loved playing.  I love smack talking people and I'm competitive as hell.

Epic has a women's softball team (and they're pretty good I might add!) Last year I wanted to play, but was pretty much told that all of the positions had been filled.  I was really disappointed.  I truly believe I NEED something like that.  Something just for me.  That's why I tried my hand at roller derby...competitive, physical, mentally challenging....but it just didn't work out with it being in another city and The Beast eating as much as it does.

A couple weeks ago, someone from Epic, Amy, posted about the softball teams.  They were toying with the idea of adding a co-ed team.  They wanted to know who was interested in playing and if you wanted to be on a women's team or co-ed.  Man, I was geeked!  I'm fairly certain I sent in the first email :) I would LOVE to be on a co-ed team again.  I don't know...there's just something about it.  It's more competitive.  Anyway, I sent an email, said I'm definitely interested and that I'd prefer co-ed but of course would be on the women's team.  I got a response that day and then...nothing.  I hadn't heard a thing directly.  I know the games start in about a month so I contacted Amy again.  I don't want to miss out this year and I especially need to practice.  At any rate, I got my money to her yesterday and she's working on a practice schedule and will hopefully get that to us this week.

Guys, I am SO excited :)  I got my glove, batting glove, and cleats out of the box they've been hiding in in the garage for YEARS.  I bought some glove conditioner and a softball.  We've been throwing every day and I've been exercising and eating better.  My arms, shoulders and legs are sore and it feels awesome!  It means that I'm actually moving.  I really think this will give me a boost of incentive to get fit and healthy.

Happy Gina!  :)

I have a twin!

Cody is HUGE into Legos...among other things.  The other morning, I was searching online for ideas and ended up over at Homegrown Learners.  They're big into Legos over there :)  Anyway, she has a link to a printable create your own mini-fig, so I printed some out for us to color.

Britney made hers look like herself - same hair, clothing and crazy look in her eye :)  Cody made his kind of vampire/undead looking.  I decided to make mine a hiking/backpacking/nature Gina with the bandana, braided pigtails, hiking pants and boots.  Cute, right?  Wrong.  I was going for this...

And ended up with this.

Not horrible, but not feminine in ANY way.  Brit told me I look like a boy.  So I put the picture down and that was that.  Several hours later, I looked down at the picture and knew exactly who it was.  Ready for this?  My twin is Cody Lundin outdoor survivalist!

See?

http://www.tvrage.com/person/id-336586/Cody+Lundin

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I do like going barefoot...

Goals

I didn't make any resolutions.  Now that I think about it, I usually don't.  It seems silly to make such a promise.  What happens WHEN you mess up?  On January 19th?  Your WHOLE year is screwed?  I don't think so.

I do have goals though.  I want to be a better person...better wife, mother, friend.  I have lots of ideas for this year, but I can't be the better person for everyone else without becoming a better me.  I've been stressed out about some things and that translates to stuffing more food in my face.  I've gained weight, although I'm not brave enough to step on the scale to find out how much.  But it really doesn't matter.  It's not the number on the scale or sewn into my jeans.  It's how I feel.  I want to feel better, freer, not trapped in this body.  I want to have the energy I've had in the past when I've eaten healthy and exercised daily.  I want to be a better example to my children.  I want to give them healthy food options, especially Cody who thinks anything resembling a vegetable is of the devil.

I've been creating a bucket list of sorts and every one of those items listed requires a fitter, healthier me.  So, that's my goal.  Health.  Overall heath - physical, emotion, mental, and spiritual.  I want to love myself more.  The other part of that goal is for me to not get discouraged and give up.  I can be doing SO well....exercising daily, eating better, SEEING a difference in my body that I love, and then something happens.  I get stressed out about something, or slack off for a week and then it's all over.  I start my same ol' bad habits and gain all the weight back.  No more.  I'm going to stick with it!   I hope to blog more about this too, keep a track record publicly.  That will hold me accountable and will hopefully help me out.

 

The Forest

For a long time, I didn't quite understand the saying "Can't see the forest for the trees."  I mean, the trees are the forest.

 
I have a better understanding of it now as I feel like I've been living it.  I've been concentrating on the negative.  The bad that I see that's directly in front of me.  The troubles I have faced throughout my life.  Being angry at people who have wronged me.  Anger plain filled me up this past year or so.  It can be consuming if you're not careful and I wasn't.

The truth is, the forest...my forest, is completely full of wonderful things.  I have been blessed far greater than I deserve.  I have a husband who is a wonderful man and works hard for our family.  He loves us, that's for sure.  He loves me, even on days I don't deserve it.  I have these two absolutely amazing, intelligent, creative and beautiful children.  I have friends, really true friends.  A whole group of them that love me and my family.  They are my family.  I am so very thankful for them.

I can see the forest.

I can see it...the whole picture.  The goodness, kindness, generosity, and love.

I still see the trees but for now they are blurry, just brief glimpses in my peripheral.  However, I know there are decisions that have to be made that I don't want to make.  Situations and issues that have to be resolved.  Those blurry trees will soon be put into focus.  

But for now, I can see the forest.  

Roller Derby Day 2

I had an awesome time at boot camp Monday!  We started off by free skating to warm up.  The wheels on those skates were MUCH slicker than the ones I used last week, so it took me a while to adjust. 

They started us off by talking to us.  They gave us a history of their league, talked travel games, helping in the community, etc. Then we reviewed the things we learned the first week and I immediately realized I had a pulled groin muscle.  Well, both really, but the right side is much worse.  I did the best I could, but OUCH!  I use that muscle for all of the stops and for getting back up.  Just...ouch.  Anyway, after the review, we learned a few new falls.  Then they set up cones for us to weave in and out of.  I did that really well...until one pass and I busted my hiney.  I'm fairly certain it was caught on camera too.  A guy was filming nearly the entire time.  I haven't seen anything posted...yet.

Next up, we created a pace line to weave in and out of.  The entire group formed a line and skated around the rink.  The person in the back weaved in and out until they were in the front.  Guess what.  I fell during that too.  But was yelled at "Good fall!"  I can fall really well now :)  Anyway, I quickly hopped back up and finished.  Let's see, then we worked on pushes and whips.  I did really well with the pushes but lost my balance when I tried to whip Ebbin Flow.  She did tell me something though.  She said that they can all see that I can skate and have good balance and that they're very excited about me.  So...GO ME!  :)

After that, we were finished.  Those two hours really do go quickly but I've learned so much. 

I'm sore.  But not as sore as I was at this time last week.  Last week was rough!  I couldn't work out until like Friday.  I was able to work out last night (Tuesday night) so I'm doing much better. :)  I can already see a difference in my leg muscles and my arms/shoulders are sore so I know they're getting a work out.  WOOHOO!

Roller Derby

Dixie Derby Girls is the local roller derby league located in Huntsville.  I can't remember how I first heard about them, but I've been following their FB page for a couple years.  We have talked about going to see them, but it's never panned out.

The idea of this sport excites me...speed, aggression, use of balance and hand/eye coordination, strong team bonds...plus there's a certain amount of bad assery attached to it.  Women empowerment.  Stick it to the man and all that.
    
Every year, they recruit for their Fresh Meat Program.  I wanted to do it last year, but didn't and was disappointed for not giving it a shot.  On Sunday, I noticed one of their posts on FB - November to Dismember: DDG's Fall Recruitment.  I thought about it.  I really thought about it and got excited.  I posted it on FB and several of my friends encouraged me to give it a go.  I think Britney has been my biggest supporter and helped push me to follow my interest and desire to try something some would consider crazy.  Bobby completely supported me as well.  I'm pretty darn lucky!

So...I took a breath and registered, paid the fee, waited and got NERVOUS!  I grew up in the skating rink in Athens, but that was *AHEM* nearly twenty years ago.  I've skated a couple times since.  I'm still pretty decent.  I can skate forward really well, do crossovers, skate backwards a bit, and turn around.  But there's a big difference between free skating around in a circle and being competitive with pushing and shoving and and God only knows what else.

Nervous.

Monday evening, Bobby came home from work and after a bit, I headed to Roller Time in Huntsville.  The worst part about this location is that it is right behind Krispy Kreme!  With it being a Monday, I assumed it would just be other girls there for recruitment, but that place was PACKED!  Who knew roller skating was the place to be on Monday nights?  Well, I used to know that, but I didn't realize how many people still went roller skating.

Anyway, a team member walked in right after me, introduced herself, introduced me to a couple other people and showed me where to wait.  Waiting sucks.  I was nervous.  I didn't know anyone.  Even the other girls who came in were so nervous, they weren't speaking.

Pretty soon, it was 8:00 and everyone was told to clear out.  Once it was just the roller derby, they spoke briefly.  Then we had to sign waivers.  I love anything that you have to sign a waiver to participate in!  Then we geared up using borrowed, stinky elbow and knee pads.  I brought Britney's helmet and wrist guards from her skating board days.  Thanks Brit!  We paired up with a team member to help show us the ropes.  Ebbin Flow grabbed my hand and introduced herself.  We seemed to hit it off pretty well.  Turns out we're right at the same age and she used to skate in Athens too.  We may have known each other way back when :)

Some of us newbies putting on our GRRRRR faces!

While we were still in our tennis shoes, they showed us 'The Derby Stance' and the different ways to properly fall and get back up.  Falling is HUGE part of this sport.  You learn how to do it the right way to minimized injury.  Although, it's difficult to do in shoes.  Plus, we felt kind of silly....

After we got the basics, we put skates on and did  things for real.  We started off with...taking steps.  Seriously.  It's harder than it sounds.  You have to get low and walk without those dang wheels rolling.  I did better forward than backward, but did sideways the best.  

Me far right...stepping

After that, we worked on falling.  You fall one knee, both knee (think rocker slide) and both knees, elbows and wrists.  Then you're suppose to get up without using your hands, which is difficult to do when you're out of shape such as I am.

Lined up getting ready to take our falls!

Next up was stopping.  I've always been told to use the toe stop.  You're going along, push your toe down and skid to a stop.  That's not how it's done in derby.  You turn your back foot and press down, using muscles that you didn't know existed.  There's also the plow stop and spinning around quickly and pushing down with both toes to stop.

The last thing we did was free skate.  I think they wanted to judge our abilities.  We were suppose to be skating with our partners, but after a couple laps around the rink, Ebbin Flow pretty much told me I didn't need her.  She said I have awesome balance and my crossovers looked great.  Then she disappeared.  And I skated.  And skated.  And thought my legs were going to fall off.  Practice ran until 10:00 and I was honestly ready to stop at 9:30.

After a short break, we were told to skate more and she would blow the whistle and we would fall in various ways to get practice.  The falling isn't difficult :)  The pads are AWESOME!  But the getting back up when your legs are already jello...wow!  I fell different ways and then Ebbin Flow showed up and told me I could work on different stopping techniques.

And just like that, it was 10:00 and over.  My legs were past hurting.  They were almost numb.  I definitely pushed myself and I am extremely proud of what I accomplished.

Tuesday, I was sore, but Wednesday was ridiculous.  I could barely walk.  The second day is always the worst.  I was finally able to work out today and my legs feel stronger.  I'm REALLY looking forward to Monday to see what we're going to learn :)

I'm in the paper!

A friend of mine just posted on my FB wall with "Did you see your picture in the paper today?"  I didn't, of course, so I pulled the local newspaper's website up to see if I could locate what I feared was incriminating evidence.  THIS is what I found.  I'm the third picture.   It's not nearly as incriminating as I thought!  :)

Me

I woke up at 2:22 this morning. Wide awake...nearly panicked. I hate waking up freaked out like that. Did I hear someone breaking in? Was it a bad dream? Did I stop breathing?

I went to bed around midnight so the math is pretty simple as to how much sleep I got...or didn't get as the case may be. I wasn't able to fall back to sleep. It's 6:29 now. I know it's good to have quiet time to think about things and reflect on life's happenings, but sometimes my brain isn't a very nice thing to be alone with.

In other news, the scale is being quite nice to me. I'm down 14.2 pounds from my highest weight! Woohoo! I can see a difference in my face and which hole I'm using on my belt. I would set a goal with my weigh loss but every time I do, I end up gaining weight. It's like the added pressure stresses me out and I end up sabotaging myself every single time. So I am going to continue with what I'm doing without over thinking it too much.

me

I'm down 13 pounds since our camping trip in May. This morning I saw a number on my scale that I haven't seen in a very long time. I feel GREAT! I'm healthier and more active. I'm eating better. I just feel better about me. I haven't made it to a smaller size yet, but I can tell I'm toning up and clothes are fitting me better. Shorts that didn't fit me to take on that camping trip fit perfectly now. It's nice to see the progress:)

I actually went dress shopping! If you know me you know how rare that is. But Beth's wedding is this weekend and I'm going to need something nice to wear.

I'm so excited about this weekend! More on that later!

Progress?

I was doing so great with my weight loss and get healthy goals. I was eating healthy foods and exercising every single day. I had mastered the Pilates DVD. I was lifting weights and I swear I could see a love handle shrinkage. I was feeling better and had lost a few pounds. Then everyone got sick and I have been focused on taking care of them and in the mix, have neglected taking care of myself. The diet has been shot to hell and I haven't worked out in about four days. I'm not complaining. Just stating a fact. I want those three Lackeys of mine to feel better, and I'll retain/gain weight for a week if I have to:)

However, I'm ready to get back to it. I was making progress and I want to continue in that direction. I'm excited about being healthier - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.


Update on the family:
Brit and Cody are coughing...A LOT so their throats are raw. Britney had a bad night last night. Cody got up with a fever and neither one of them can stop coughing. Bobby said he's feeling a little better. I am still without flu. Thank you everyone for your prayers and get well wishes:)

The Weighting Game

Do you know how you feel when you KNOW you're ready for something? That feeling, that understanding you have when you realize change is coming?

I think I'll let you in on a little secret. Are you listening? whispers I'm overweight. I know you couldn't tell. I'm tired of being overweight and I'm tired of saying I'm ready to make a change. It's time to actually DO something about it.

I've been eating less and much healthier, except during my trek to Tennessee this weekend. Did I mention how much I enjoyed Red Robin? Brit and I have been sweating and laughing our calories off exercising in the living room. Not that she needs to lose an ounce. It's been fun doing it with her. I love my Britney.

A couple weeks ago, Cathy sent out an email telling everyone about Scale Back Alabama. She wanted to get a team together and I felt like it was a great opportunity to challenge myself. It's also awesome to have a group trying to accomplish the same goal. We will support each other. We will push each other. Even if we fail, we will continue to love each other.

We weighed in today. We have 10 weeks to lose 10 pounds. The GinSu BobCats are going to be Little Skinny Losers!

Happy Birthday To ME!!

I was kind of excited about my birthday this year. No particular reason why. I just wasn't dreading it like I thought I would. The big 3-0 is quickly approaching, ya know?! Well, I had a wonderful birthday! Yesterday, we slept late and took our time getting ready. It was a good day to drink coffee and lounge. 'Rain...Rain...Go away.' After we got dressed, Bobby took us to Olive Garden for lunch! Yum...soup, salad and bread sticks! Thanks baby!

Then we went to the Halloween store to check out their costumes, decorations, makeup, etc. They had some really cool things...and some things that even Cody thought were freaky. The talking Hannibal Lecter would be a nice addition to anyone's home, though. We also took the opportunity to play a little dress up.

Peace man!

After we got home, the kids surprised me with a cake. Thanks my sweet babies!

Today is my SIL's birthday. Elisa and Donna came over and we went out to lunch to celebrate.

After we ate lunch, Donna and I were 'forced' to wear sombreros while everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' to us. Well, I didn't mind wearing it but I don't think Donna enjoyed it:)

Britney, Elisa, Donna, Bobby, Me and Cody

Today is also a special day for me because it's the 6th anniversary of the day a quit smoking. GO ME!


I have such awesome friends! They planned a get together for my birthday! This afternoon, we met Cathy, Kaitlin, Karen, and Keilee at Sutherland Station in Huntsville.

Nice look for me, huh?

Karen and me

Price check

When we were finished there, we went to Books-A-Million where we met Esther and Chandler. We looked around for a while and went to eat at Moe's next door. We've never been to Moe's before and we're so happy we finally had a chance to go. It was REALLY good! It's LOTS of food for a reasonable price and on Tuesdays after 6:00 pm, kids eat FREE! My favorite 'F' word!!

Keilee giving me my alien birthday card. I wonder if she's trying to tell me something...

Um...thanks for clarifying...UN-NO SUGAR in the SWEET TEA.

For months I've heard about Fresh Market. I've heard about the double-dipped chocolate malt balls. I've heard about the candy for the kids to choose from. I've only heard until today. Today I saw! It's wonderful and I may have a new favorite place to go in Huntsville. We were there for an hour and didn't get to look at half the store.

Cody called it 'Candy World'

He had so much fun going through the different candy, Halloween goodies and fruit. They had baby watermelons that he thought were so cool! I'm assuming Britney had a good time, since we hardly saw her. She was running around the store with Kaitlin, Keilee and Chandler, picking out her candy and having a wonderful time.


I think Bobby enjoyed the coffee more than anything. It smelled SO good. We bought enough to sample a couple different flavors. I picked out Georgia Pecan. I can't wait to taste it!

I really want to thank everyone who made my birthday special. I know my friends went out of their way for me today, and I want them to know how much I appreciate it. Thank you Cathy, Karen, and Esther! I love you all so much!!

And a huge THANK YOU to my family! Because of you, I was able to enter the photo contest without dipping into the bank account. That was a big help!! 8x10 prints, poster board, and double-sided tape really add up! I was also able to buy myself some new clothes, which I really needed!

I just want to thank everyone!! I love you all so much!!!